Sneak Peek Part Two: Lucky Charm

Here is the second part of Chapter One. I hope y'all enjoyed the first part. Hopefully there weren't too many mistakes.

I must not be with it today because I can't think of anything else to tell you. Who knows if I'll keep this beginning to the story. I try not to get too attached until after the 30k mark. It's around there where I know if the story is going to work as is or if it needs to be scrapped. I had planned for the story to be light and fun, sort of like Salvaging Toby's Heart. But as you will see, the beginning is rather bleak for Navinder.

Lucky Charm
Copyright © Lexi Ander

Chapter One: Part Two

"My concern is for you," Saga replied, more silver tears cascading down his amaranthine cheeks. "There are more qualified people taking care of our pod." Frustratingly, Saga stood blocking Navinder's sight of the devastation. But Navinder didn't need to see it for dread to spread through him at what Saga didn't say.

He was rushed onto a craft and Navinder belated realized the ship was the guru's. The fastest airship that took the guru on emergency flights to where the guru was direly needed.

"Let me go." Navinder pleaded, even as he sensed the ship taking off. If his pod was gone, he didn't want to survive.

"You still have me," Saga said before his face crumpled, an agonized sob escaping him.

But he didn't, Navinder wanted to argue. Saga belonged to the people. Navinder was alone. He'd never been alone before and the knowledge scratched at him, adding to the pain of his wounds. Jugals weren't meant to be solitary. They needed their podmates or else they waisted away slowly, painfully, leaving a mere husk of the person they'd once been behind. If death didn't find them quickly, they turned dangerous and deranged.

"Please," he begged Saga. All Saga needed to do was remove the stasis field. It was the only thing keeping Navinder alive. He doubted he'd survive a minute with the barrier gone. Then it would be over. He could join his family in the afterlife and not have to endure the hollow feeling where their life forces should have been. He wouldn't have to suffer the sorrow of their death.

"That is not a decision I can make," Saga finally replied, his blue eyes red-rimmed and his expression filled with heartbreak. "The Sacred Tree had requested I bring you to her."

The Sacred Tree… Why had she quested him? Yes, he was the last of his chosen pod, but she and the people could select a replacement to fulfill the Quest the Life. He was broken, his pod gone. There was nothing he could do for her. Surely she would see that and let him go.

Navinder thought he passed out because Saga was issuing orders when he opened his eyes again. They'd landed and Navinder remembered nothing of the flight. He gazed at Saga, memorizing every stretch of his features. How beautifully wide Saga's nose was. He remembered when the pod had gone to have the red band tattooed from temple to temple across their eyes. Their chosen color matching Saga's red hair. He would take this picture with him into the next life, thankful Saga would be by his side when the Sacred Tree allowed him to push through the veil. He prayed that Mahi, Atam, and Mond had been there for each other, that they went quickly and didn't suffer in the crash.

"We are almost there, Navinder. Stay with me a little longer," Saga begged, his voice hoarse and broken.

Navinder blinked at the slender boughs stretch overhead. They were in the Sacred Grove.

"No, don't close your eyes," Saga snapped. Navinder smiled at the bossy tone, or thought he did.

When he opened his eyes, hopefully for the last time, he met Saga's crazed gaze, the panic there for Navinder to see. Above them shimmered the yellow-gold leaves of the Sacred Tree as Saga stopped before the old gnarled trunk that was bigger around than most shuttles.

Sacred Tree, the One Tree, the Tree of Life, she was called many names, but only the gurus knew her true name for she spoke to them alone. Navinder thought he heard soft whispering as the leaves fluttered in the nonexistent breeze. He would've thought his mind was gone if not for how Saga tilted his head as if listening intently, his reply caught up before Navinder heard Saga's words. Saga wept and Navinder wanted to sooth him, tell him everything would be fine, but he was so very weary. All Navinder wanted was to rest.

"Let me see him, young one."

Saga nodded and tapped on the screen next to Navinder's shoulder. The stasis field collapsed and Navinder's hold on Saga's hand loosened as Saga shifted away. Sighing with relief, Navinder let his eyelids slide closed.

"I see you, saint-soldier. I see your line. From the beginning to the very end. This, my child, is not where your story stops. There is much for you to do yet."

The feathery texture of leaves surrounded Navinder. When curiosity got the best of him, he peeked, startled to see he floated above what was left of his body. He'd thought his injuries were terrible, crushed by the panel as he was, but he hadn't realized he'd been cleaved in two. His hips separated from his torso and his abdomen a right mess. There was no way he could survive such nor would he want to, especially knowing his pod had already passed into the fade.

The yellow-gold leaves wrapped around his body, swaddling him. Navinder's remaining life's blood staining their golden hue, pooling around him on the black earth. Saga wept with great wracking sobs that tore at Navinder's heart. He floated closer to the male he'd grown up with, shared all his meals with… made love to. Tentatively, he wrapped ethereal arms around Saga, attempting to give what little comfort he could before he too passed onto the the next plane.

The Sacred Tree began to hum counter to Saga's crying, until Saga gasped and hiccupped to hum along with the spirit of the tree. A blinding light formed in the boughs and Navinder was relieved. He wanted to be on his way, joining his family on the next journey. But before he released Saga, the light moved down the trunk. He sensed a weight, a presence cloaked in the brilliant depths. He wasn't sure what to do, hesitant to approach this strange being.

"You called for me?" The disembodied voice startled Navinder. The warmth of the odd presence flowed over him, shedding Navinder's residual fear and panic, tempering the sorrow of knowing his pod waited for him.

"I have need of this one who is ready to go with you," replied the Sacred Tree, her wispy voice accompanied by the rattle of her leaves. "It is not his time."

Navinder felt the heavy weight of a stare, instinctually knowing the presence in the light regarded him. The urge to prostrate himself before the entity alarmed Navinder. The only being he would ever show such reverence for would be the Immortal One, the Timeless One who welcomed all who crossed the veil. Even as he thought it, a chill raced through him. It couldn't be! The exhilaration of being in the presence of the Immortal One was tempered by what the Sacred Tree asked. How could they want him to stay when he'd lost all that mattered, all that was worth living for?

"Please." Saga's begging sob caught Navinder off guard. "He's all I have left."

"Young one," Came the soothing tone from the Immortal One. "You have barely put on the mantle of Guru Granneth. Soon you will feel connect to all Jugals."

"And does that mean he's any less important to me?" Saga argued. Navinder wanted to console Saga, beg him to understand that leaving was for the best, but he passed through Saga and the words caught in his throat, snagged by the clawing fingers of his own sorrow.

"In time, he will be only of many, equally loved. You would forget his significance to you and disappear among the masses you are charged with guiding," chided the Timeless One.

Though the words hurt Navinder, he knew them to be true. He'd sensed his familial bond with Saga severing when Saga accepted the mantle of Guru Granneth. The same could not be said of Saga. He hadn't endured the loss because he was now connected to all Jugals.

Saga's shoulders sagged, his posture telegraphing his defeat.

"But that is not the reason why I will allow him to remain," added the Immortal One. Navinder's gaze snapped to the brilliant light, his eyes stinging from the blinding presence. He once more sensed the pressing stare. "The Golden One is correct, saint-soldier. Your time here on this plane is not finished. There is much yet left for you to accomplish before you cross over into the next life."

"No," Navinder begged. He would be empty, incomplete. Doomed to the barren loneliness of being without a pod. How could they curse him to such an existence?

"Do what needs to be done, Golden One. You have my blessing."

Navinder snarled with immediate fury, fire curling in his gut like a black cloud. He shot up, heading for the Immortal One, sure that if he touched the light he would pass through the veil. But instead of going up, Navinder floated towards his body.

"I don't want to stay!" Navinder bellowed. "I want to be with my pod!"

The Sacred Tree hummed louder, the yellow-gold leaves brightening like a million stars shining overhead. Instead of being marveled at the sight, panic welled and Navinder fought. The light of the Immortal One lifted higher into the boughs, adding their brilliance to the Sacred Tree's golden glow.

Saga stared with awe as Navinder's spirit passed by him, joy lighting his expression. "Have no worries, Navinder. I will make sure all is taken care of. You won't be alone, I promise."

All Navinder felt was betrayed. By the Immortal One, but the Sacred Tree, and even by Saga. Nothing would ever be the same again. No matter what Saga said, he would live, cursed with loneliness.

His spirit slid back into his physical body, broken and wounded beyond imagining. He absorbed the pain into his soul even as the Sacred Tree poured life into him.

The Sacred Tree could give life, if she so chose, seven times in her three thousand years. Usually, she gave one life to the Guru Granneth who would be the caretaker of not only the Jugal but the next seed generation. Rarely did she grant life to others despite the direness of the many requests over the centuries. Some Jugals didn't fare well over the many years, even when they kept taking on pod new members. Many so gifted with long life gave up their spirit long before their body gave out.

That wasn't the fate Navinder wanted. He couldn’t imagine bonding to pod after pod, suffering through the dark agony each time he outlived them. But from every direction, his wishes were overruled, discard like trash, to keep him on this plane. The knowledge burned like a hot ember in his chest, inflaming his rage at the injustice done to him.

"It is all right to be angry," the Sacred Tree's voice flitted like butterfly wings across his mind. "Once it runs its course, you will be able to see we were correct. You have a destiny to embrace, but you are not yet ready to see it."

The glowing golden vines burrowed into Navinder's wounds. He should've felt pain but he only sensed their presence before he was pulled into the bosom of the tree. The Immortal One sat there, expectant, waiting. Before he fell unconscious, he attempted to look upon the being of the Immortal One, only to be thwarted by the flare of light that encompassed him.

"Sleep, child, tomorrow dawns a new day. You will be made whole before you face it."

Thank you for stopping by and reading!!

Sneak Peek Part One: Lucky Charm

Started back on Lucky Charm this week. Because I didn't finish it in February, I'm behind on my writing schedule (by a lot). To remind myself where I am, I'm transcribing what I've written so far. It's going much better than I thought it would.

I talked a little bit about Lucky Charm last year. Just a mention of a project that I was working on with a group of authors. We're sharing a science fiction world based around the belief that humans are lucky to aliens. The series name of the collaboration is Have Human Will Travel. Our stories are due in June of this year. I hate working on a deadline so I'm working on the story now.

I don't have a blurb to go along with this. The direction of the story has changed a couple of times so I won't attempt one until after I've completed the story. I've decided to post what I have on Chapter One over two days, since it's so long. It hasn't been edited so please excuse the issues. I also thought it would be cool to put up the part of the Lucky Charm playlist that corresponds with the chapter. Enjoy!

Lucky Charm

Copyright © 2017 Lexi Ander

Chapter One

The Jurgal planet of Estheon one year ago.

In all his years, Navinder Japo had never felt such overwhelming pain. As one of his people's saint-soldiers, he was no stranger to physical suffering, but this agony covered his entire body, every nerve screaming and obliterating his ability to think clearly. Pinned to his chair like he was, all he could do was feel. He fought the need to open his mouth and release the wail building at the back of his throat. If he freed the scream he might not be able to stop or the action would alleviate some of the pain threatening to drag him into the dark. A small voice warned he wouldn't be coming back if he allowed the black to claim him.

With great effort he worked to control his ragged breathing, gradually pushing back the angry static that kept him from thinking about anything but the pain. He was so very tired, but he was a master Khalsayla, the chosen of the Golden Temple, he reminded himself. A whole planet depended on him to keep them safe.

He swiped at his face to better clear his sight, moving aside a heavy wet garment. The dangling overhead light burned his eyes and he snapped them closed again. Knowing not to look straight up again, Navinder peeked at his surroundings, this time casting around to get a picture of where he was. Flight chairs and instrument panels lay jumbled about the compartment.

Carefully, he internally took inventory of his body. The cockpit's control panel pinned him at the waist below his diaphragm. He couldn't sense his limbs below that point. He pushed down the silent panic that arose when he briefly considered why. Thankfully, he could move his arms but they felt weighted down by lead weights.

He and his podmates recently became the chosen of the people. They had toured the globe after winning the tourney. People gathered in large crowds to greet them at every stop, craning their necks to look upon those awarded the honor the quest for the Seed of Life. Then they toured the two moons, meeting with and listening to the people, sharing langar with them before they returned to the capital on Estheon. They were supposed to study with Guru Saga for one year before they began their journey. But something happened to the shuttle midflight. Navinder wasn't sure what.

Before he thought about the consequences, Navinder stupidly pushed at the console holding him down. Bellowing in pain, he blinked at the black spots filling his vision. He had no choice but to wait. He would need help to get out. Where were his pod mates? He remembered the violent shaking that had woken from sleep. He had been slumbering with his family and had to crawl out from underneath Mahi, Atam, and Mond. When he had stumbled onto the bridge the Captain yelled at him to sit down and strap in. He'd barely snapped the buckle when the warning sirens screeched. Thinking about his pod mates not in their safety seats had his heart hammering with barely contained fear. He'd thought to return to their quarters to wake them but the pilot cursed, the shuttle lurched, and the ceramic cup the copilot had been drinking from flew across the space and smacked Navinder in the temple.

Dazed, he didn't recall much after that. The pilot sent out a mayday. People screamed. The loud screech of metal had deafened him, followed by a bone-jarring hit that Navinder thought was the landing. Unconsciousness had swallowed him and he did not know how long he'd been out. Now he smelled the pungent odor of the coolant leak and heard the steady drip of fluid. He prayed to the Immortal One it wasn't anything that would catch the shuttle on fire.

He rubbed his face again belatedly realizing the purple skin of his fingers was covered in his blood. He was not surprised to feel the raised ridges along his forehead and brow. His race, the Jugals, had a physical manifestation when experiencing high emotions such as lust, stress, or anger. The smooth plains of their faces developed ridges that pushed the skin up, giving them a fierce countenance. As a saint-soldier, this bodily reaction was one of the first things about himself that he learned to control at will. He would be ashamed later over his loss of control. At the moment, he needed to get to his podmates and ensure that they were well. They had to be. He could not live without them. But first he needed to free himself from the panel. The sound of distant voices gave him hope. Had the pilots escaped, bringing back help?

Heartened by the sounds, Navinder listened hard for the voices of his lovers and only heard that of strangers. Why weren't Mani or Atam calling for him. Where was sweet, tender-hearted Mond? If they weren’t causing a ruckus, then they had to be severely injured. Navinder squeezed his eyes shut, trying to beat back another wave of panic. He needed his pod like he needed to breathe. They'd grown up together among the hundreds raised in their clutch, bonded together as first friends, then later as lovers, family. Winning the tourney, being award the honor as seed bearers for the Sacred Tree had been tempered by their loss of their podmate, Saga. He'd been chosen to be Guru Granneth Saeb, becoming the spiritual leader of all Jurgals. Giving up Saga meant Saga would make all Jurgals his pod. Navinder didn't think he could bear losing another podmate. Jurgals need their pods, and to be without one doomed the solitary to die a slow agonizing death. A thought suddenly came to Navinder. Perhaps the static that seemed to go hand in hand with his physical pain was caused by metaphysical damage to the bond to his pod.

"Mahi!" Navinder called weakly, unable to go another moment without hearing their voices. "Atam! Mond! Answer me!" He choked when he attempted to call out louder, his lungs straining to draw in more air.

The only sound answering him were the renewed shouts or rescue workers making their way to him. He craned his head toward the corridor leading back to their temporary quarters. Wall panels were wedged into the opening, bright light slicing through the gaps. He closed his eyes against the wave of dizziness and swallowed against the accompanying nausea. A warm breeze brushed his skin. How had he not known the hull had been breached? Or had he passed out and that was the hole the rescuers had cut to retrieve him?

Navinder drifted, listening for the voices of his loved ones.

"Navinder?" Warm hands cupped his cheeks and he dragged his heavy eyelids open, startled to see Saga bending over him. When he went to ask how Saga came to be there, his former podmate shushed him. "Don't speak. Save your energy."

He drank in the sight of his beautiful Saga. It had only been a few months since his pod had lost Saga during The Choosing but the pod had keenly felt Saga's absence.

Saga's amaranthine skin was covered in dirt, dark streaks smudged his forehead as if he kept rubbing there. The thick follicles of his red hair had been released from the Khalsahla bindings to be swept up into the wide jeweled band atop his head, proclaiming to all he was a holy man. Instead of laughing blue eyes, Saga's gaze only held worry and fear. Navinder wasn't the only one who'd lost control over his ridges. Saga's prominently expressed his stress even as he murmured softly to Navinder.

"You need to lie still. We have to initiate a stasis field as soon as the panel is lifted. At the moment, it is the only thing keep you from bleeding out." Saga clasped Navinder's hand, his palm so warm against Navinder's cold one. "I'm not going to lie, it will hurt, but I need you to stay conscious. Concentrate on me." Males worked around Saga as he spoke, clearing a wider path to the hull breach. Though Navinder wanted to believe all would turn out right, that Saga would take care of everything, there was a small part of him that whispered he'd been stuck in the wreckage for far too long if Saga was by his side.

"No, Navinder." He glanced back to Saga, surprised at the silver tears that glistened in Saga's gaze. "Keep your attention on me." He nodded, squeezing Saga's hand weakly.

Saga called something over his shoulder and a team of medical personnel swarmed in. Navinder didn't attempt to follow the conversation, only held Saga's gaze. They didn't demand that Saga move but worked around him as if he weren't in the way. Navinder gave a small grin. Just because he'd sorely missed Saga didn't mean he hadn't been proud Saga had been chosen to become guru. Seeing the respect the people now gave him, only caused Navinder's heart to swell more.

Too caught up in his thoughts, Navinder didn't register something pressed into his jugular until he was hit by the sharp discomfort. Almost immediately, the pained he'd been fighting lessened, but as if on cue, the others lifted the panel and Navinder lost his breath with the immediate thunderous return of agony.

"Stay with me," Saga pleaded. Navinder was trying but the black spots returned. The med-tech placed a heavy metal disc on Navinder's chest and a current of energy zipped across his exposed skin as the containment field snapped into place. The barrier between Navinder and Saga shimmered, fluxing icy green to blue like faint stained glass Navinder could easily see through.

"Your hand is caught," Navinder observed.

Saga choked on a sob. "You aren't ridding yourself of me, mighty chosen."

"Didn't want you to go in the first place," Navinder rasped, alarmingly short of breath.

Tears spilled from Saga's eyes as he glanced down Navinder's body. From his expression, Navinder didn't need Saga to say what was left of Navinder wasn't good. Other than the sharp pain in his midsection when the panel was removed, Navinder felt nothing below the waist. A sick sort of curiosity nudged him and Navinder weakly raised his head to see the damage for himself.

Saga's grip on his hand tightened and he hissed vehemently at Navinder. "I said keep your eyes on me!" When Navinder returned his gaze to Saga, his crimson lips trembled though his eyes held a fierce almost maniacal light.

Navinder swallowed thickly, terribly thirsty but unable to quench it. "Promise me you will ensure Mahi, Atam, and Mond will… they will need you when I'm gone."

The planes of Saga's face hardened. The line of his ridges had been faint before, but now they thrust out in sharp relief, reminding all that before Saga became guru he'd been Khalsayla—a fierce and deadly saint-soldier. "Enough of this talk. I will not lose you, too." Saga snarled. "You will survive if I have to hold your light to your body myself. You have no other choice but to fight to live. You are Chosen, the strongest, the most unmovable force among Jugals. You will tap that core of strength and use it."

Navinder grinned wanly. How he'd missed his fiery, bossy podmate. Of all of them, he'd thought Mond, sweet gentle Mond, would've been appointed guru. Battle hardened Saga was the last person Navinder thought the Scared Tree would chose as the Jugal's spiritual guide.

"Stay with me." Saga's plea had a hard bite. Navinder blinked at the bright sunshine overhead, gladdened to be under open sky. When had they moved him from the wreckage?

Saga jogged next to the stretcher that carried Navinder, his hand still trapped by the stasis field. Navinder noticed the deepening red line in Saga's skin, small rivulets of blood running down the field. He was worried about the state of Saga's arm but relieved he had Saga's hand to hold when he glanced back to the shuttle… or what was left of it. Debris was scattered everywhere, the twisted shell of the cockpit the only section not pulverized and strewn across a field of orange flowers.

"Saga?" Navinder's voice warbled. "Where are our podmates? They were in the sleeping quarters." When he turned to look at Saga, panic welled at Saga's grim remorseful expression. "Are they—" Navinder didn't know if he could finish the question, or if he even wanted the answer.

Thank you for stopping by and reading!!

The Ups and the Downs

Hey guys.

I thought I'd give an update of what I'm up to. This exercise is mostly for me, to keep myself... I guess you could say focused. Mourning is crappy with stuff like focus. I'm having a hard time following conversations. My poor husband. I keep asking him to repeat stuff. There is a part of me that just not home and I lose track of a lot stuff other than conversations. 

I'm still so very tired. The bad dreams are there and sometimes my mind just doesn't shut down. I keep thinking about Molly and those last days. There's this part of me that knows I couldn't have done more but there's also the other part that is micro-analyzing everything that happened, always questioning. So, I've been trying to keep busy.

Last week I blogged about Salvaging Toby's Heart and asked for suggestions/comments. I'd figured the "dusting off" would be quick but some really good suggestions came in and the fleshing out I'd thought would be around 10k looks like it will be a bit more. :) 

So I dug out my binder for the book... You know when I write a story by the seat of my pants when the binder only has a character list and two pages of story ideas. The rest of it was the first draft of the story. LOL! I'm creating a new binder the will include detailed character pages and outlines for what I want to add. The new binder will also house the info on the other books I'll add to the series.

Funny that. I never meant Salvaging Toby's Heart to be a part of a series. At the time, I didn't see any romances for any of the other characters until I wrote a flash fiction for Max last year. Then a possible plot came to me for Wolf. (A warning for the strictly MM readers, Wolf's story will be MMF. That's how he rolls. :)

Now I'm sitting here looking at a few more stories to add to my board as well as making Toby's better. But this is not something I'm going to work on exclusively because I still have Bespoken and an upcoming due date for Lucky Charm.

Before everything happened, I'd set aside the month of February to put Lucky Charm together, and I'm going to keep to that schedule the best that I'm able. I don't want to wait until the last minute to get the story written. I get too flustered, stressed, and anxious when trying to write on a deadline so best get it done now even though I'm struggling with words that aren't darkly emotional. But Lucky Charm has one character, Navinder, who is darkly emotional so I began pouring words into his narrative. I completed almost 600 words on Sunday and today I'm up to 2400. Whoot! I'll take it considering I haven't written anything for more than three weeks.

Annnndddd... I'm transcribing Bespoken. I have more than 55k (one third of the story) to type up. I'm struggling with this too because I usually edit as I go. I have to be careful otherwise what I'm adding is dark and negative. So that's slow going, but still going.

I'm not stuck, just not going anywhere fast.

When not at my desk staring at the screen, I've been cooking. Not that cooking isn't something I normally do... mostly. Admittedly, Jason does a good portion of the cooking for us. Usually when I do cook, it's uncomplicated and simple. The more upset I am the more I cook complicated dishes. Jason said he could always gauge me by what I do in the kitchen. Last week, he threw his hands up in the air when he brought home a list of ingredients from the grocery store for another detailed dish. (That one turned out fantastic.) "You're unhappy. Go write on your book." At the time, I couldn't. Nothing was coming and I told him so. We've had sandwiches for dinner the last couple of nights, and strangely, he's very happy with that. :) Go figure.

There have been ups and downs. I know this. My father's passing two years ago taught me a lot about the stages of grief. This time around I'm not constantly wondering when I'll feel like my old self. I know that it will come eventually, to have patience and allow myself to grieve. I no longer worry that it's too much or that I've been mourning for too long. When Dad passed, I thought I had to keep pushing and pretending everything was okay because at sometime it would really be okay. I'd fake it until I got there. Now I know I shouldn't push or pretend. It's okay to cry as much a I need to. It's okay if I don't accomplish anything but getting out of bed. It's okay if I spend the day out of the house doing absolutely nothing.  Today was a balmy 61 degrees, overcast and windy and all I wanted to do was spend time in the backyard and listen to the wind blow through the boughs of the trees. All of it's okay. If I only read through my series notes or only transcribe 200 words or review my to-do before I leeave the office for the day, that's all right, too. 

Thank you for stopping by and reading!!