Thursday, February 2, 2017

Salvaging Toby's Heart: Feedback Needed

With the closing of All Romance I have a couple of free stories that I have to figure out what to do with. The Awakening of Amanra I'm not going to put back up. It's only 5k and at sometime I'll end up writing all the stories that I have planned for that world. So I'm not going to do anything with it right now.


As for Salvaging Toby's Heart, I'm thinking about putting it up on Amazon. But more than that, I thought that I would see about turning it into an audiobook. I'm also considering a printed version which means I'll need to add some word count, about 10k to make it long enough. 

The question is whether or not it needs to be re-edited and I'm thinking about extending the ending. I do plan on writing stories for both of Toby's brothers, Max and Wolfe. But those two stories are a little ways off unless I find time to squeeze them in.

If you've read Salvaging Toby's Heart, tell me what you think. What would you like to see added to the story? Was there something missing or other details you'd like to have? 

Blurb:

Running from a petty ex, Toby Wentworth took a basic find and retrieve job from a little known planet in the middle of nowhere. The moment he sees the aerial view of the supposed crash sight, he knows he and his small crew are heading into trouble. Not only does he have to figure out what the science vessel is hiding, he also stumbles onto the natives who are not as primitive as everyone believes. 

Commander Sol Inari is suspicious of the salvage crew. He and his men watch from the shadows until they discern this group of humans are no threat to his people. At first sight, Sol is smitten with the human and he wants to get to know Toby better. He sets out to seduce Toby not knowing the true danger has yet to come. There are those who will stop at nothing to get what they want, and their careless actions can tragically take Toby away. Will Sol get change to convince Toby to stay?


Thank you for stopping by and reading!!

6 comments:

  1. I really enjoyed STH and would like an extended/expanded version as well as looking forward to sequels!

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    1. Thanks, Marsha, I have a few ideas on what to do with the story. I just need to settle. I'm looking forward to writing the sequels as well. I need to find plots, though. :)

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  2. I enjoyed the book, I missed a bit the details as to how a child got to be in a flower.. The details of sex are clear but my imagination didn't help me figuring that out.. ( just clinical deposits or some thing else?) Also If you're going to extend maybe a prologue that shows the deteriorating relation ship between Toby and Spencer? Or his time spent as a FSF officer.. Some more background info. If you want to add family don't forget his dad Weston and linking him to Shepherd? You'll never know what Shepherd might turn out to be.. Looking forward to see what you'll come up with. :-)

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    1. You have some good ideas! The symbiotic relationship between the flowers and Sol's people was one of the things I had in mind to expand upon. I could have the adventure where Toby is swallowed by the huge worm to save a child at the beginning. Being slimed like that would make anyone consider retirement. :) I think I might leave Spencer in the background because bringing him forward would open a can of worms that I'm not sure I want to be a part of Toby and Sol's story. Weston was funny when it came to pushing Toby to hook up with Shepherd. I think I might introduce the family better toward the end as well. Watch, these additions will turn out to be more than the 10k I want. :)

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    2. Yes, getting got caught in the worm is a gross enough adventure to read about, also good to get to know Toby's character better ;-) . Indeed opening a can or worms isn't that great, he's dealt with anyhow bu the police.. What you also might consider is the adventures of Sol prior to meeting Toby ( not the romantice one's though). I think Sol is also a character deserving more background info. But that are just my thoughts. Take care of your self first though :-) Sandra

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    3. I've been thinking about Sol and what I could show about him that wouldn't change of the body of the story too much. He did have a lot of romantic "adventures" off-planet that we don't want to get into. Perhaps something that hasn't been eluded to in the existing narrative. Maybe he went sneaking around to find out more about the people building a landing pad on his planet or something. That one I'd have to work carefully so not to give away things later revealed. Hmmm... Thanks for the nudge, Sandra. Have a good weekend!

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