How Many Words Do I Need To Write Before The End Of The Year? *head-desk*

At this time of year, everyone is talking about who is going to participate in NaNo. Me? Not so much because I'm afraid to check my 2015 writing agenda. I know I'm so far off track I might not be able to get back on. I don't know if participating in NaNo will help or hinder me. But I can only bury my head in the sand for so long. I cleaned off the big whiteboard and set to work.

December of 2014 I put together my writing schedule for 2015 and I was feeling pretty good with myself. The schedule wasn't so tight that there wasn't wiggle room and it all felt so doable.

But taking the plan and executing it is something else all together different because sometimes the muse isn't on board with me. 

I don't talk about "the muse" much because I don't believe in the muse for writing inspiration. She's a fickle bitch, just saying. If a story isn't working then there is something wrong with what I've already written or the plot or the character thought process--something isn't working or missing or I'm boring myself to tears. It's all me and not the muse. She's the one that throws me the ideas about possible future books, but she's very hands off on current manuscripts and that's probably because I'm possessive.

Anyway, we were talking about planning and execution. It all went okay until midyear. Then everything got all fucked up and the agenda kept getting pushed into the background so I could concentrate on things that had to be taken care of immediately. 

Something about Releasing Chaos wasn't working so I set it aside to see if it would work itself out. At the time, I was also editing the books in the series that came right before and I hoped the light would go on during the process. 

Nope. That room is still dark.

I was supposed to start on Bespoken and again, something wasn't working. Where to start Prometheus's story and how to make it different than what is already out there is giving me some problems. I don't like writing what people expect. I want to have something that hasn't been done before. I want it to be better than Striker but not so far out there that people are lost. So I'm resolved that people are going to kill me.

So I sat down today and took a look at everything and made a list. Lists are good because they tell me where I need to go. 

O.O   ....  ....  ....Wow... 4000 words a day. Forget that there are holidays coming up or my family would really like to see me, and you know, spend time with me. If I want to have a day to myself I'll have to double up the word count for a day or two.

4k days and if edits come through for other manuscripts, I'm screwed. Well, I'm screwed now, I'll be super screwed then. I know which of these will have to take precedent over the others. It's inevitable that something will get pushed back, again.

Here comes the doozy. I looked at what was waiting in the wings and had a moment when I thought I would pass out. This is where I lecture myself to be more of a planner.

I seriously need to learn how to write non-series novellas. Or just non-series would be good because I know me. I'll see a prompt or come across something awesome that I want to write and I'll insert it in and it will turn out to be a series that I have to add to the others. And I need to type really fast, have a first draft that is practically spotless, and a mini-me to do all the editing.

*lays head on desk and cries* People are going to kill me. Do you know how much I hate disappointing people?

My good writing days are 2k-3k days. I don't know if I'll be able to do 4k everyday for 82 days straight, but I'm going to try. You might  not see me around much on social media for a long while, but the more I get done now, the better set I'll be at the end of the year. And alive. No angry mobs and I'll be alive. LOL!

Postscript: Woke up after only two hours of sleep and awake enough that I was worried I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep right away--when one of the issues I was struggling with in Releasing Chaos suddenly presented a resolution. Of course, my heart skipped a beat or two as I considered what popped in my head and I knew that if I didn't get up and write it down I would forget it before morning (just like when the title for my Roughhouse Riders story came to me, I didn't get up and write it down and by morning I was left empty-handed). So now I'm up. The notes for the dilemma are saved and I'm awake even though I'm tired. I guess I'll get a little work done while I'm awake. ^_^

Thank you for stopping by and reading!!