Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Deleted Phrases From Twin Flames

It seems that at the beginning of Twin Flames Tristan is a bit of a drama queen, and I the cliche' queen. (I think I need a shiny badge.) *preens* He and I make quite a pair. To smooth things out and make Tristan less cliched some of the over-the-top phrases needed to go.

The one thing I believe wholeheartedly is that I should NEVER become so enamored with the words I write to cause me to turn down good editing advice. A good editor is worth their weight in gold. Ignoring sound advice would be detrimental. So I will always take a step back and look at the problem through their eyes. The majority of the time I will agree, but for the others, I simply open up a dialogue to find a solution. Even though I love these phrases by themselves, I agreed they were out of place in the prose.


I ignored the hole where my heart had once been.

The wound was so deep I wondered why I wasn't bleeding.

There were a couple of, "Oh, Goddess, help me!" taken away. *snicker* Oh, wait. *throws self on bed with a wail*

Could he not see there were too many pieces to pick up? That I was well and truly broken? I was bleeding to death right here, right now. Wasn't it obvious there was nothing he could do that would fix this, fix me, or fix us?

I couldn't scrub away what I'd seen, what I'd heard. I wasn't that strong. Maybe I was a bit of a coward .

I stared at him, my body numb with disbelief and grief. My shoulder throbbed and burned with the poison of being claimed by this man. My chest constricted with the pain of a broken heart. I bled for him because I loved him.

Each word he spoke was like a little death.

My heart bled.

If the little pinpricks weren't bad enough to make the skin break out, it was scratchy.

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