Today begins Cherish's Book Blast. At the end of the post you'll find a list of the blog stops. Make sure that you check them out and participate for a chance to win an Amazon gift card.
I have a bonus scene for you. It takes place right after Destin and his bonded are freed from captivity. This is from Ellatha's POV, which we didn't get in the book. Enjoy!
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Ellatha stared at the psychologist who had been assigned to her and her bonded for group therapy. They all struggled to adjust to being free. Personally, she was hyper aware of everything going on around them and could not seem to completely relax, waiting for someone to come in and attempt to separate her from her bonded. Every time someone visited, she placed herself between them and her bonded sure that this would be the day the GIP showed their true colors, only to realize they were safe. The staff of the Galactic Imperial Patrol’s medical starship had been infinitely patient. They always waited for her to relax and consent to their entry into the spacious suite that was their temporary roost.
Consent. Consent was something precious and given over and over again. The doctors and medtechs reaffirmed consent before they did anything. They did not press or push, but waited for her or someone else to confirm or deny treatment. After so many years in labs where she was never asked for permission, she found herself testing the resolve of the medical professionals time and again. Even when she did not speak in these group therapy sessions, the psychologist did not press for her participation.
Today, they sat on a sectional facing Dr. Analeese. Destin was on one side and Myo her other. Bogie and Worth capped both ends, but Ellatha’s skin crawled, a small voice whispering that they needed to be closer. If she’d still had wings, she would have spread them over the back of the sectional to touch them all.
Dr. Analeese watched her as if he could read her insecurities and fears. Perhaps he could since he treated other survivors. Her reactions probably were not unique. Since the day they were unexpectedly reunited with Myo and Worth, she hadn’t lashed out at anyone for getting too close. Her protective instincts got the better of her that day when she was sure that someone would try to separate them again. Dr. Analeese kept reassuring her that her reaction was understandable, but she also needed to voice her concerns, allowing the staff to address her—their—needs.
The Gaziniti’s ankles were crossed, and the light glinted off the polish of his shoes as he swung his legs back and forth. For three weeks, they met with Dr. Analeese every day. She was only now getting used to the fact that saying no would not result in repercussions. The doctors respected her choices and carefully explained what they were doing, how they were going to do a procedure, and if they had to go to the medical center, then she and her bonded were given a couple of days warning to prepare themselves for entering lab-like areas.
Ellatha was grateful for the consideration and care the staff gave her and her bonded. But today’s anxiety had nothing to do with medical procedures and everything to do with contacting family who had not been captured.
“Many have asked about waiting to contact extended family and friends,” Dr. Analeese said as if he hadn’t just shaken Ellatha’s world. “It is perfectly all right to postpone contact if you feel you need more time. Your wellbeing comes first. Reconnecting to one’s past after everything you have been through will no doubt be stressful. Situations change, as do people, and being unsure if you can cope if the reunion does not go as expected or hoped for is a valid concern. Your mental health comes first and if you are not ready, do not force yourself to reach out. We can take small steps. We have professionals who can sit with you, if you feel you need additional support. If you want to start by sending messages instead of face-to-face meetings, we can arrange that as well.”
A fine tremble worked its way up Ellatha’s spine at the thought of people making an issue of her claiming not one batore but four as her own. She fought to hold on to her bonded in captivity and she sensed that she would have a similar battle when they were reintegrated into GyrFalconi society. She wanted to squawk and screech, imagining all the scenarios where she would have to keep outsiders from tearing her family apart because they were an unconventional nest. She wanted to be left alone and if they could have survived the forests of Aries 7, she would have already been making plans to move her batore away from those who would attempt to take them from her.
“And if we do not want to talk to family at all?” Myo asked, tugging on his chin feathers hard enough that a small one fluttered to the floor. Ellatha unwrapped Myo’s fingers and took his hand. He leaned into her, giving her a grateful look.
Dr. Analeese watched the small blue feather flutter to the floor. His expression was one of understanding. “That, of course, is your choice. Just remember that if you change your mind at a later date, there is no shame.”
Myo made a noise of acknowledgement, but Ellatha was more worried about Destin who hadn’t uttered a word this session when he usually contributed. As soon as Dr. Analeese had started talking about connecting with family, Destin had taken her hand and held on with a steely grip that bordered on painful. His breathing had turned so shallow that at first, she thought he was holding his breath.
Worth’s bonded chantelle had died trying to free him, and Myo never bonded before he was captured. But Destin had a bonded chantelle and two chicks who were old enough to be on their own by now. She had secretly inquired when we were freed and knew Dena, Paxx, and Alaina had not been captured, but were living in different sky-cities. She had always known that another chantelle had a claim on Destin, but that knowledge did not keep her from loving him.
Looking down at his red crest, she wondered, not for the first time, what happened that Dena was not with him when he was captured? Why had he been flying in the flock without her? Destin never said and Ellatha did not pry, but now she wished she had. She knew nothing about Dena aside from her name and a couple of stories Destin shared about their younger years. What type of chantelle was she? Would she understand Destin bonding with others in captivity? Would she love him enough to be happy he found people to love and lean on? Or would she be jealous?
The thought that she would say something to hurt Destin made Ellatha’s crown feathers rise with her temper. She tried to relax and remain calm, but her secret fear of losing Destin had its claws sunk deep into her and she could not shake the trepidation that feeling brought. She would do anything to make Destin happy, but if she had to let him go? Could she do it and not tear down the world in her grief? She glanced around at her bonded: Bogie, Worth, and Myo. She would not be the only one heartbroken if Dena demanded Destin return to her. Dena was not the only one who had a claim on him. His chicks, Paxx and Alaina, had to be dying to reunite with their dahen.
Bogie escorted Dr. Analeese to the door, jolting Ellatha out of her thoughts. She hadn’t heard anything else he’d said, and she wondered what she’d missed. Worth’s worried gaze bounced between Myo and Destin. Myo tried for a reassuring smile, but Destin was lost in thought, unaware of Worth’s concern. Everyone was quiet, which was not unusual after a group therapy session, but today it felt stifling. Ellatha was not the only one who thought so. Destin rose to his feet, not looking at anyone as he mumbled that he needed some time to himself and left their quarters.
Ellatha stared at the closed door, willing Destin to return. She wanted him to trust them with his thoughts, but he’d spent captivity being strong and relying on himself, especially after Myo and Worth were taken away and sent to the mines. The Terrens had hurt Destin in a way that Ellatha was unsure he would ever recover from, making him fiercely independent.
“What are we going to do?” Bogie sat on a stool briefly before hopping up to pace.
The Terrens had fed them well enough, but the experimentations had taken a toll on everyone. Bogie was not skeletal like Destin, but neither was he robust. She knew it was not her fault, but as a chantelle who was responsible for the welfare of her batore, she sometimes could not help but feel their health was a reflection of how she had not taken care of them.
“What if Destin leaves?” Bogie voiced one of Ellatha’s biggest fears.
“Then we do our best to…” Worth waved his small hand in the air, groping for words. “Woo her, I guess? Do what we can to prove we can share Destin’s heart with her, that we do not want to steal him away?”
Myo frowned. “And what if she rejects him?”
Ellatha rose to her feet. She could not imagine rejecting her bonded, but there were hardline traditionalists who would not hesitate to walk away if their bonded did not meet their idea of what was proper. At one time, abandonment was an uncommon and frowned upon action, but society had been shifting when the Terrens invaded. How much had ideas changed while she had been gone?
“I am going to see if he is all right,” she said before leaving.
Whatever he chose to do, she would support him, and she needed him to know that.
The medical starship was huge and was just one of many who had taken freed captives aboard for treatment. She searched the common areas on their current deck. Her gaze sweeping over sickly GyrFalconi talking in clusters mixed with the various species that made up the ship’s staff. Ellatha had never met a more kind or thoughtful group of people. At first, her suspicions colored her interactions with them as she waited for a trap to spring, revealing their true intentions. But time and again, they proved they would not harm her or her bonded. Their only desire was to see them in good health and able to stand on their own.
When she did not find Destin in the usual places, she had a sneaking suspicion where he went. She scrounged up the courage to ask a member of staff for directions. Communications was two decks up and she endured a ride in the enclosed space of the lift, the tight quarters leaving her trembling and relieved when she stepped onto the new deck. The floor was a hive of alcoves, each with its own vidscreen. The murmur of voices was only slightly muffled since most people did not opt to erect soundproof barriers for their conversations. Ellatha did not blame them since the alcoves were not roomy. The thought of being trapped in such a small space, even if only temporarily, would make any survivor uncaring if their conversation was overheard.
She walked by, unabashedly looking in each room for Destin. When she turned a corner, she glimpsed Destin’s distinctive red crest further down the corridor where an attendant was showing him to a room. By the time she reached him, he was already being connected to Dena. Ellatha slumped against the wall, heart thundering in her ears. She expected to hear joyful outcries from both Destin and Dena. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to reassure herself that everything would work out for the best.
“You are supposed to be dead,” said a callous voice. Ellatha’s eyes flew open. “I do not have time for this complication.”
She stood ramrod straight, barely holding herself back. She wanted to charge into the alcove and demand Dena—no, she wanted to rip out the chantelle’s tongue. But Destin had not asked Ellatha to stand by his side for this conversation. She waited for Destin’s reply, but none was forthcoming and Ellatha was forced to listen as Dena shunned him. She could feel his heart breaking. Ellatha stifled a squawk of outrage.
Not able to stay away from Destin any longer, she moved to stand in the doorway. Destin’s call had already been cut and he was turning away from the blank vidscreen. His narrow shoulders rounded forward, his head hanging until he glimpsed her. Ellatha wanted to blind Dena for the tears that tracked down Destin’s cheeks. The need to comfort him was overwhelming and she raised her arms. Destin crossed the space without hesitation, and she wrapped his fragile body in a secure embrace. He was more bone than muscle and his complexion was ashy with both sickness and sorrow.
As Destin cried, she stroked his crest and with each gentle caress, reminding him that he was loved and not alone. When he pulled away to wipe at his wet face, she asked, “Do you want me to sit with you when you contact Paxx and Alaina?”
Immediately, he shook his head. “No. I mean, yes, I want you to sit with me when I contact them. I just do not want to do that now. I need… I cannot… Not today and probably not tomorrow.”
He did not need to finish the statement for her to understand he was afraid they too would reject him.
“Dr. Ananleese said you choose the time. No pressure,” she said. She drew him against her side as she walked him back to the lift. “Bogie, Myo, and Worth will be worrying. Let us return to the roost.”
She kept Destin tucked to her side the entire walk to their suite. She would be talking to Dr. Analeese tomorrow about this clawing need to keep Destin close. Hovering was so unlike her and seemed to be getting worse instead of better. But until then, she would cuddle him and her other bonded as much as they would allow. Perhaps the prospect that she could have lost Destin was what stirred this frantic need? Though a part of her was relieved he would not be leaving them, a larger part mourned with Destin the loss of his bonded. To be shunned…
When they arrived at their temporary roost, Ellatha gathered her bonded to her. They did not ask questions, just came to her. Even Bogie burrowed into her side, and she held them all close as she battled her demons. She could not lose them, any of them.
* * * *
I hope you enjoyed that look into the aftermath of the Twenty-Year War.
Tour Schedule
January 5 - Wednesday - Mickie B. Ashling
January 5 - Wednesday - Bonkers About Books
January 5 - Wednesday - Never Hollowed By The Stare
January 5 - Wednesday - Matt Doyle Media
January 5 - Wednesday - Drops of Ink
January 5 - Wednesday - Joyfully Jay
January 5 - Wednesday - Anna Butler/Love That's Out of This World
January 5 - Wednesday - Archer Kay Leah
January 5 - Wednesday - J. Scott Coatsworth
January 5 - Wednesday - Liminal Fiction
January 5 - Wednesday - QueeRomance Ink
January 5 - Wednesday - Queer Sci Fi
January 6 - Thursday - kittenwylde
January 6 - Thursday - Love Bytes
January 6 - Thursday - Bayou Book Junkie
January 6 - Thursday - Stories That Make You Smile
January 6 - Thursday - Author Anthony Avina's Blog
January 6 - Thursday - TTC Books and more
January 7 - Friday - Valerie Ullmer | Romance Author
January 7 - Friday - Boy Meets Boy Reviews
January 7 - Friday - Emotion in Motion
January 7 - Friday - The Faerie Review
January 7 - Friday - Paranormal Gay Romance
January 7 - Friday - Xtreme Delusions
January 7 - Friday - Quiet Fury Books
Thank you for stopping by and reading!!
Thank you for stopping by and reading!!
