Sunday, May 24, 2015

Guest Post & Giveaway: Angel Martinez with You’re Allergic to What…?, Lime Gelatin and Other Monsters

Whoot! I'm excited to have Angel on the blog today talking about odd and common allergies and brought along an excerpt to her new release, Lime Gelatin and Other Monsters.

Also, don't forget to leave a comment. Luck lucky people will win their choice of backlist Angel Martinez's books! 


You’re Allergic to What…?

When I was a kid, no one seemed to be allergic to anything. We played in the dirt, ate whatever the hell we wanted, ran around like crazy people in the humid, pollen soaked air, and somehow we were just fine. Oh, sure, occasionally, it turned out someone was allergic to bee stings and had to be rushed to the ER, but that was high drama for us.

Somewhere along the line, slowly, gradually, this changed, probably due to environmental factors and things in our food but suddenly we started to hear about kids being allergic to peanuts, to shellfish, to milk, to soy, to eggs, and so on. Heck, I even developed a shellfish allergy later in life in sympathy. But regardless of why it happens, food allergies are our immune systems being drama queens. The immune system misidentifies certain proteins in food and it overreacts, sending out the histamine troops in packed battalions and overloading critical systems, causing things like runny noses, hives, itching, and oh, issues with minor things like breathing. Allergies can develop at any time, young or old, and are sometimes linked to odd causes, like tick bites.

No, I haven’t been smoking anything good. Tick bites. The Lone Star tick has been linked to an increase in what was once an exceptionally rare allergy – an allergy to meat. Sometimes the allergy is only to mammal meats, but not always. It sometimes extends to poultry as well. Not all meat allergies are cause by tick bites, certainly, but the dang ticks have made it into the news and increased awareness of an allergy that’s particularly difficult to manage in this country. Why? Because it’s often a delayed reaction allergy, difficult to diagnose, and because Americans put meat in everything, to one extent or another.

A friend of mine struggles with this every day and I’ve watched how this affects every food decision. Did you touch that with your meat-contaminated hands before you handed it over? Does the restaurant use a separate grill for meat? Separate utensils? Mashed potatoes…but they have bacon. Fried okra, but it’s made with bacon fat. You get the idea. Suddenly you have to be aware of everything surrounding food preparation and not just the food.

So Kyle Monroe, the hero of Lime Gelatin, gets a meat allergy. Because it’s a thing that happens to real people and he wanted to be as real as possible. It’s his own fault.


Offbeat Crimes 1
(part of Amber Allure’s 77th Precinct Pax)

Officer Kyle Monroe’s encounter with a strange gelatinous creature in an alley leaves him scarred and forever changed, revealing odd abilities he wishes he didn’t have and earning him reassignment to Philadelphia’s 77th Precinct where all the cops have defective paranormal abilities.
Just as Kyle’s starting to adjust to his fellow misfit squad mates, his new partner arrives. Tall, physically perfect, reserved, and claiming he has no broken psychic talents, Vikash Soren irritates Kyle in every way. But as much as he’d like to hate Vikash, Kyle finds himself oddly drawn to him, their non-abilities meshing in unexpected ways.
Now, if Kyle and Vikash can learn to work together, they just might be able to stop the mysterious killer who has been leaving mutilated bodies along the banks of the Schuylkill.



Kyle sat up straighter, shifting to see between the heads in front of him. Soren looked like a poster boy for the model police officer, tall and straight, uniform crisp and sharp. He stood at parade rest beside the lieutenant, impassively surveying his new colleagues. A little knot of resentment lodged in Kyle’s stomach. At his own introduction to the 77th, he’d been nervous and fidgety, freaked out by the collection of…freaks. How can he be so calm?
“Officer Soren transferred from the Harrisburg PD—”
“Don’t they have enough freaky shit of their own up there?” Wolf called out in his rasping growl.
“Since Harrisburg is in our jurisdiction,” she continued with a quelling glance. “He’ll start out partnered with Monroe.”
“What does he do, ma’am? That it’s safe to put him with Kirby, er, Kyle?” Shira Lourdes asked as she flicked nervous glances across the room at Kyle. An empty chair slid away from her and fell over. Her partner, Greg Santos, shook his head and righted the unfortunate piece of furniture.
“Officer Soren’s abilities are his business, which he may or may not choose to share if you ask. And don’t bully him about it either, any of you.” Lieutenant Dunfee swept the room again, pinning each of her officers with her needle-laser gaze like captive butterflies. “Monroe, my office after briefing. Info on your current case.”
She dismissed them, stalking from the room with thunderclouds in her eyes. Kyle found himself approaching the new guy and trying his best not to be awkward. Did he offer to shake hands? Was it safe? Would the guy flinch like so many people did at the sight of Kyle’s scarred hands? Soren was even taller up close, six-foot-three of lean inscrutability, his blue eyes startlingly bright against smoky bronze skin.
“Um, hi, I’m Kyle Monroe.” Kyle fidgeted when Soren didn’t offer his hand either. “You’re with me, I guess. I’ll show you our spot in the squad room.”
Soren followed him silently and Kyle was starting to wonder if he was like Krisk in the not-speaking department until he finally spoke in a smooth, soft baritone, making Kyle startle and miss a step. “Why do they call you Kirby?”
“You’d hear it sooner or later, I guess.” Kyle shrugged. “It’s this thing I do, absorbing other people’s talents temporarily. If they’re close to me. Or touch me. Like Kirby, the little pink dude in the video game.”
Just that? Soren didn’t edge away, or change expression at all. Was he made of stone? “It’s a thing. Everyone here has a thing.”
After a few more steps, Soren asked, “Always?”
“What… Oh, was I always like this? Who knows? I mean, maybe I’ve picked up stray thoughts or something, but no. It’s pretty recent. Knowing that I do this.”
Kyle took a wide arc around Vance as he entered the squad room, pointing to the double desk in the far corner, well removed from everyone else. “That’s ours. Coffee’s over there, but you might not want that coffee. Let me grab my file and we’ll go see the lieutenant.”
“So what’s your story, Soren?” Vance called across the squad room. “What flies your freak flag?”
“Yeah, what do you do?” Jeff Gatling stopped ’porting his banana from one corner of his desk to the other.
“I don’t really do anything,” Soren answered as he hefted the empty coffeepot. “Guess I’ll make fresh since I’m the new guy.”
He opened the top to remove the filter and every human voice in the squad room yelled out, “No!”
Most people would have startled, maybe dropped the carafe. Soren just blinked at the roomful of people gesturing wildly. He took the filter out and emptied it over the trashcan. “Why not?”
“You don’t want to do that.” Kyle stayed by his desk, a nice safe distance from the coffee station. “That’s Larry’s job.”
“Larry’s not keeping up then.”
The container of sweetener packets began to rattle. It shivered across the counter and leaped to a messy end, ceramic shards skittering across the floor. The desk that Krisk and Wolf shared rose from the floor several inches and slammed back down. Wolf fled with a squeaking yelp just before the desk flipped on its side.
Soren glanced toward Kyle. “Larry’s not a cop, is he?”
“He is…he was! A dead cop. Larry’s a ghost. He gets ticked if anyone else makes the coffee. Put the stuff back, please!”
“Larry?” Soren raised his voice but to all appearances remained completely unruffled. “I’m new here. I’m very sorry I invaded your jurisdiction. See? I’m putting the carafe back. Closing the top. Are we good, Larry?”
A breeze ruffled through a stack of papers, but no further mayhem ensued. The carafe slid from its pad on the coffeemaker and floated to the water cooler where Larry, who never manifested in a visible form, whistled tunelessly while he filled the carafe.
From his dim corner of the room, Carrington said in his dry, genteel way, “Welcome to the Island of Misfit Freaks...”


2 commenters will be chosen at random (’cause I have a formula to do that and everything) for their choice of backlist Angel Martinez book!


About the Author:
Angel Martinez is the erotic fiction pen name of a writer of several genres. Her experiences as a soldier, a nurse, a banker, and an underpaid corporate drone give her a broad view of the world and a deep appreciation for the astounding variety of people on this small planet.
She currently lives part time in the hectic sprawl of northern Delaware and full time inside her head. She has one husband of over twenty years, one son, two cats, a love of all things beautiful and a terrible addiction to the consumption of both knowledge and chocolate.
To contact Angel with praise, adulation, sarcasm, and complaints to the management (any management, she’s not picky, but it might not solve your flight reservation issue) please try these linky things:

Thank you for stopping by and reading!!


  1. Replies
    1. :D The second Offbeat Crimes story comes out in June - The Pill Bugs of Time

  2. I didn't know there were so many types of allergy the meat one is a new one to me. I'm allergic to chicken weird but true! Also cheese gives me terrible Migraines haven't eaten any since I was 11.


    1. Oh, heck yes! Sharp cheese bothered me for the longest time. Food is odd stuff ;)

  3. I love the book title!! I am lucky that I am not allergic to any food, but I do empathize with those who do have allergies. Thank you for the chance at your giveaway.

    1. It's tough some places, lol. Seafood restaurant....oh, look, there's trout...nope, stuffed with crab. Heh. Thank you for stopping in!

  4. I love the book title and cover! I can't imagine becoming allergic to meat; it would be so hard to avoid it. I recently had to do a low iodine diet for a month or so and it was very limiting and hard to eat anywhere but at home. I have to imagine a meat allergy would mean mostly eating at home as well. I feel for you on the shellfish. I would sorely miss shellfish if I became allergic later. Thanks for the giveaway chance!

    1. Hi Jen! My friend with the meat allergy can eat out, but you have to know where. Indian restaurants and a lot of Asian restaurants are often good bets, as well as vegetarian places, of course :)

  5. I'm kinda in love with this title. Just sayin... and the concept plus excerpt. I just went hunting for it... I'm impatient. Lime Gelatin now belongs to me (not the food... though that may not be true... i think I have lime Jell-o in my fridge).

    1. Woohoo! Thank you, Crissy - and I hope you enjoy it! (Otherwise, you know, torches and pitchforks optional...)

  6. Definitely one to check out! I've got the ESTO universe novels and am looking for more from this wonder author.

    1. Hi Dreamseeker! Love that you read the ESTO novels! (definitely more serious stuff ;) ) All the work, both serious and silly, can be found here, if you're interested:

  7. this sounds awesome! please count me in